As often as I say that I am a Sex and Relationships Educator I have to clarify that I do not do life, relationship or sex coaching nor do I do therapy or counselling. So let’s break it down and explore how these professions and work differ from one another.
Coaching As simply and precisely as Wikipedia can explain it - “Coaching is a form of development in which a person called a coach supports a learner or client in achieving a specific personal or professional goal by providing training and guidance.“ Coaching’s focus is a client’s growth in the here and now - yet looking forward with goals and aims clearly outlined. Psychotherapy/Counselling Therapy involves working with a client who seeks relief from psychological, emotional and social struggle. The client wants emotional healing and relief from mental pain. Therapy deals with the client’s mental health and is more likely to involve understanding and working with past experience and managing with the present struggle.
Education Education is the process of facilitating learning, or the acquisition of knowledge, skills, values, beliefs, and habits. Education has objectives and aims, but its focus is on enlightening and enriching the learners with knowledge that would empower them to make better independent and informed decisions and choices for themselves.
All three fields do interlink. There are therapeutic outcomes from education and coaching; education of all forms takes place in coaching and therapy; there is also coaching in therapy and education. What is important to remember is that the aims, the methods and the end results of each of these are different.
Therapy and counselling aim to help clients make sense of pain and cope with psychological, emotional and social struggles.
Coaching is goal oriented and aims to help individuals reach their full potential through support and guidance.
Education aims to enlighten and empower individuals and often acts as a preventative tool which helps people’s personal growth, management and success.
Taking my Psychology and Counselling background, as a the foundation and the frame of my work as a Sex and Relationship Educator, entails sharing knowledge and findings from the social sciences. By educating in a structured format that helps individuals understand how internal and external factors influence their psyche, behaviour, health, relationships, sex and more, the aim of my work is to help people with their personal development and interpersonal skills and relationships. The aim of Education is not to guide you or lead you - but to enrich you and empower you to pick and choose what works for you.
Psychology, sexology, anthropology etc. textbooks and journals are expensive and not everyone has
the knowledge of where to aquire what they need,
the ability to collect, compile and make sense of highly specialised in terminology and writing texts from all fields of psychology from evolutionary through developmental to social and
the knowledge of how to apply the complex and often seemingly contradicting data to their life
I believe that it is a shame and a waste for scientists to be accumulating so much knowledge and data on the human mind and behaviour when most of which unfortunately remains behind the heavy bars of academia, guided by steep prices, heavy language and tough accessibility.
Education should be accessible for all, yet Sex and Relationship Education is not only pretty shallow and also negative and biased in schools, but pretty much lacking in availability for adults. People are pushed to take trainings on how to climb ladders and pick up boxes, but somehow expected to know it all when it comes to the very much daily and yet most complex of all affairs -self care, interpersonal relationships and sex. If education can prevent you from falling off a ladder and not damaging your back, surely it can spare you much heartbreak, anxiety and unhappy relationships and of course dealing with the aftermath of this in therapy - if you can actually afford it.
I am also often asked why don’t I do sex therapy or a couple’s therapy? Well, because that would mean working with the aftermath of lack of education, working with the damages, the grim, the pain, the hurt and the struggle that could have all been prevented if people have had and taken the opportunity to learn how to take better care of themselves, how to be better in interpersonal relationships and how to enjoy their bodies free of shame and guilt.
Education is prevention, and prevention is way more positive and cost effective - hence I choose to be the educator that puts the lights on, and shows you the traps before you fall into them, rather than be the therapist who has to see you brew with anxiety in the pitfall, while you experience and make sense of your despair before the struggle to pull you out begins.
I believe that Sex and Relationships Education should be sought out by those who want to learn, as knowledge can never be forced upon people. Yet as American historian Daniel Boorstin said “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge.” and this illusion of knowledge is the biggest barrier to people’s wellbeing, happy relationships and enjoyable sex lives. Sex and Relationship Education is for those who recognise they will never know it all and it’s okay to acknowledge that there’s always potential for further growth and personal development. Education is for those who want to stop wandering blind and guessing, who want to gain better understanding of how things do or can work better, who want to embrace learning as a way of becoming free in all senses of the word.
And it was for those people that LIFESEXPERTS was created - for the humble, for the curious, for those seeking the enlightenment and power that comes from education. For those who are done with this prudish yet pornographic culture we live in and want to learn what science has to say, rather than the social bias and judgement that affect and constrain their lives so negatively.
I am a Sex and Relationships Educator because I choose to share knowledge as the remedy for the ills ignorance brings upon us. I founded LIFESEXPERTS because Life and Sex Have Experts and our mission is to bring Life’s Experts and Sexperts into your Life.
LIFESEXPERTS Life Relevant Education