What?! Being Single is The Best Time for Personal Growth?
I often say that I prefer working with singles and people look at me confused when I say it. They usually ask me questions like: ''But why would a single person work with you when you are a sex and relationships expert? Shouldn't they come with a partner?'' And I get where this is coming from, but that's just one more example of how programmed we are to think about what working with a relationship and intimacy professional looks like - that it is for struggling couples.
Well, the stereotype cannot be further from the truth.
The truth is - if we want to have good and healthy relationships with others and their bodies, we need to have a good relationship with ourselves and our own bodies first.
And the best time to work on oneself, grow and learn, and fix unhealthy and unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour is when you're single. Simply put - it's best not to walk into a relationship with a bag full of past unresolved hurt, unassimilated experiences, negative patterns of thought and behaviour as well as fears, insecurities, and worries that will be sending you into the abyss of emotional turmoil at every step of the way in your new relationship.
When single, the path to growth is so much easier.
When it comes to personal development and growth, being single can be a powerful opportunity to invest in yourself and your future. While many people may view being single as a negative thing, the truth is that it can provide a unique set of advantages that can help you to reach new heights in your personal and professional life. Here are five reasons why:
#1 You Have More Time
One of the biggest advantages of being single is that you have more time to focus on yourself. Without the distractions and demands of a romantic relationship, you can dedicate more energy and resources to your own personal growth. This can include things like therapy or coaching sessions, working on developing new skills or pursuing new hobbies, or simply taking the time to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings.
#2 You Have More Bandwidth
Another advantage of being single is that you have more emotional capacity and bandwidth to focus on yourself. When you're in a relationship, it's natural to want to prioritize your partner's needs and feelings. However, when you're single, you don't have to worry about this. You can take the time to focus on your own emotional well-being and to work through any patterns of behaviour or thought that may be holding you back.
#3 Complimentary and reinforcing relationship dynamics
When you're in a relationship, your partner may be threatened by your growth and changes. They may even sabotage or slow you down in order to ensure their own emotional safety and peace. But when you're single, you don't have to worry about this. You can take the time to reflect on and work through patterns of behaviour and thought without worrying about how it might affect anyone else.
#4 Self-discovery without Limits
Additionally, when you're single, you have the opportunity to discover and grow new parts of yourself. It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling defined and constrained by your partner when you're in a relationship. When you're single, you don't have to worry about this. You can take the time to explore new parts of yourself and to learn new skills and mindsets that will serve you well in the long-term.
#5 You have Space for Independent Self-development
Lastly, certain skills and mindsets are easier to learn and embrace when we're single. For example, when you're single you can learn how to be more independent, especially when people have jumped from one relationship to another. You can learn self-reliance and improve or build your support network outside of romantic partnerships.
In conclusion, being single can be a powerful opportunity to invest in your personal development and growth. Without the distractions and demands of a romantic relationship, you can focus on your own personal growth, work on patterns of behaviour and thought that may be holding you back, discover and grow new parts of yourself, and learn skills and mindsets that will serve you well in the long term. So, if you're currently single, embrace it as a chance to invest in yourself and your future.
If you're looking for support on your growth journey, especially in regards to sex, intimacy and relationships - feel free to explore my website and book a free discovery call so we can explore if I might be the right professional for you.