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Desire and Pleasure
Maybe sex used to feel exciting and now it rarely crosses your mind. Maybe you want to want it, but the feeling simply isn't there.
Perhaps you can become aroused but struggle to really enjoy yourself. Pleasure feels muted, orgasm has become difficult, or sex has slowly turned into something you participate in rather than something you genuinely look forward to.
Or maybe you've never felt particularly connected to your own desire in the first place — and you're starting to wonder what pleasure could look like if it were actually yours to explore.
Whatever brings you here, you don't need to already know what's causing it.
Sometimes the most important starting point is simply recognising: something about this part of my life isn't how I want it to be.
There Can Be a Lot Standing Between You and Pleasure
Desire doesn't exist separately from the rest of your life.
Stress, exhaustion, medication, anxiety or low mood can affect it. So can changes in your body, confidence or circumstances. Difficulties in a relationship can make desire for your partner disappear remarkably quickly — especially when there is hurt, resentment, pressure or a lack of emotional safety.
Sometimes two people also arrive in a relationship with completely different sexual histories. One may know their body, preferences and desires well, while the other has had little opportunity to explore theirs. Over time, that gap can become confusing for both.
And often it isn't just one of these things.
That is part of what makes desire so frustrating. You can spend months wondering whether it's your relationship, your medication, your stress levels, your hormones, your past, your body, your partner — or simply you.
At some point, more thinking doesn't necessarily bring more clarity or a direction and steps forward.
You don't have to diagnose yourself before asking for help. In fact, sometimes this is the worst thing you can attempt only to find out years later that your diagnosis was wrong and robbed you of years of intimate connection and your pleasure potential as a whole.
This Part of Your Life Could Feel Different
Let's be honest, you are here because you want to feel more connected to yourself rather than wondering where your sexuality went.
Knowing what gives you pleasure. Feeling more able to notice desire when it appears — and to create the conditions in which it has a chance to appear more often.
Being able to communicate what you want, what you don't want, what feels good and what you are curious about without embarrassment or pressure.
And, where a partner is involved, feeling less as though the two of you are guessing your way through sex and more able to understand one another as sexual beings.
The goal of this kind of journey can never be to manufacture a libido or make yourself want sex because you think you should.
It is to understand your sexuality well enough to create more space for desire, pleasure, curiosity and choice within your life. It is to heal the emotional, psychological, social and sexual wounds you carry that inhibit your connection to your pleasure potential. It is to feel connected to yourself and the power, growth and happiness that come with that.
Discovery & Growth Begin With a Chat
When someone comes to me I don't expect them to arrive knowing why their desire has changed or what kind of support they need. Hence, the Free 30-minute Discovery Call is often the best first step.
It gives you the opportunity to share what you have been experiencing, while I ask a few focused questions to understand the bigger picture and consider whether I may be the right professional to support you.
If I think we could be a good fit, I can explain how I work, how my approach may differ from other professionals, and what working together could look like for you. You can also ask me your own questions, so you have enough information to make an informed decision about what you want to do next.
And if I don't think I am the right match for your needs, I will tell you. Where possible, I will offer you a referral for another professional, service or type of support that may be more appropriate — so that you still leave the conversation with a clearer next step.
If you're ready to stop overthinking, researching and trying to intellectualise your way through this — and instead take one real step forward — book your free 30-minute Discovery Call and let's explore what might help.
Hey there, I'm Leah
I specialise in sex(uality) and relationships, drawing on a background in psychology and counselling alongside extensive experience in coaching, education and training. I have been talking, teaching, coaching and helping people with the most private of challenges, issues and questions since 2007.
No story can faze me. You are safe - I'll get you. I will understand and not judge one bit - your experiences are human. And I am here to help you build the fulfilling relationships and intimate life you desire.
Have questions or want to see if I am the right person to help you?
Don't be a stranger; drop me an email or schedule your Free Discovery Call.
Working With People Around the World
One of the things I value about working online is the opportunity to support people across countries, cultures and very different walks of life. The countries highlighted here represent where people I’ve worked with in my private practice have been based.
Work with me online from the UK, New Zealand, Australia, the United States, Canada and beyond. Pricing and invoicing in 6 major currencies, and flexible appointment times that are adapted to make working across time zones easier.
How Long Do You Want to Keep Leaving This Part of You on Hold?
It's very easy to tell yourself you'll deal with it when life becomes less stressful, when the relationship improves, when you're feeling better, or when desire somehow returns by itself.
Months can become years surprisingly easily.
If this part of your life matters to you, you don't have to wait until the problem becomes unbearable before doing something about it.
A Free 30-minute Discovery Call is simply a place to start.