5 Reasons Why Online Dating is Not What it Seems...

Online dating is so popular I cannot make sense of why - because it is absolute rubbish for the most part. Is it like trash TV? Like the Kardashians? Or maybe it's like living in a town with only one pub - you feel like you are stuck and can't escape the boring, soul-destroying monotony?

There are tons of reasons why online dating may not work for you, and these reasons may be shared by many others in the online dating community. But here are my takes as a psychologist who has had the unfortunate experience of being on dating sites myself.

#1 Ego strokes

Firstly, many people are on dating sites simply to boost their ego and self-esteem. They enjoy the feeling of getting matches and receiving attention from potential partners, but they may not be genuinely interested in dating. This can lead to disappointment and wasted time for those who are genuinely looking for a relationship.

#2 Escape from Boredom and Loneliness

Another common issue is that many people use dating sites simply as a way to pass the time or alleviate feelings of loneliness. They may not be truly interested in dating and may not have any real intention of meeting anyone in person. This can also lead to disappointment and wasted time for those looking for a genuine connection.

#3 Poor communicators

Additionally, many people struggle with communication skills and the ability to hold a good conversation. Online dating requires the ability to communicate effectively and express oneself in a clear and compelling way. Without these skills, it can be difficult to make a meaningful connection with someone.

#4 No Time or Space for You in Their Life

Many people also don't have the time and space for dating in their lives. They may be busy with work or other commitments and may not be able to devote the necessary time and energy to a relationship. This can lead to wasted time and disappointment for those who are looking for a serious connection.

#5 Lack of Clarity and Vision

Lastly, many people are unclear as to what they actually want in a relationship. They may have a general idea of what they are looking for, but they may not have a clear idea of what they want in a partner. This can lead to time-wasting and a lack of direction in the online dating process.

What are the alternatives though?

I hear you - you're wondering what else is out there that you can do to meet people. There is plenty, and it involves getting out and actually living life yourself - so that you can actually meet real people and see if you click.

Here are a bunch of ideas for you.

1. Through friends and family: One of the most traditional and effective ways to meet new people and potentially find a romantic partner is through friends and family. Simply Ask around - many people actually like the idea of playing matchmaker. They may know someone who would be a good match for you, and they can introduce you in a casual and low-pressure setting.

2. Social events and gatherings: Attending social events and gatherings such as parties, weddings, and community events can provide opportunities to meet new people and potentially find a romantic partner.

3. Volunteer work: Doing volunteer work or participating in community service projects can be a great way to meet people who share similar interests and values. It can also be a way to give back to the community and feel good about yourself.

4. Hobbies and interests: Joining clubs, groups or organizations that align with your hobbies and interests can be a great way to meet people who share similar passions.

5. Sports and fitness: Participating in sports or fitness activities can be a great way to meet people who share your interest in staying active and healthy.

6. Professional Networking: Attending professional events, joining professional organizations, and participating in industry-related activities can be a great way to meet people who share your career interests and goals.

7. In-person dating service: Some people prefer the human touch and some dating services offer in-person matchmaking.

8. Meetup groups: Meetup groups are a great way to connect with people who have similar interests in a specific area.

9. Travel: Traveling to new places, whether for work or leisure, can provide opportunities to meet new people and potentially find a romantic partner.

10. Classes and workshops: Taking classes or workshops on a topic that interests you can be a great way to meet people who share your interests and passions.

My advice - if you want to get off those dating apps - do it. But don't just sit at home binging Netflix, hoping the pizza delivery person who'll knock on your door will turn out to be the love of your life.

If you are struggling with the whole meeting and dating experience and need help - don't hesitate to reach out. You can schedule a discovery call and we can see if I am the right professional for you. 👇